真的可以做到不打孩子吗

在美国打孩子形同犯罪，弄得不好做了牢还丢了监护权，可是有时候觉得孩子太无法无天，不打他不足以平忿，不足以让他知道什么是错什么是对。臭斗就是那种三天不打，上房揭瓦的坏家伙。今天在忍无可忍的情况下狠狠地打了臭斗一顿，打到手痛心痛，泪流满面。斗娘本来是很恨打孩子的，认为大人打小孩是强权对弱小的欺凌，是很羞耻的事情，但是，面对泼皮无赖的孩子，面对他一次一次有意无意的挑衅，斗娘的底线终于被打破，那就让他看看斗娘的底线是什么吧。

一直以来脾气就不好，但是自从生了孩子后，我觉得自己脾气真的是变了很多，有时觉得自己能这么隐忍，放在三年前简直是石头上开花啊。就这样也常常有崩溃的时候，一旦到了这个临界值，会做出很多不顾后果的事情，但是谁能那么好的控制自己的情绪呢？当所有的不顺都同时发生，而怎么都找不到一个好的解决办法时，真想丢开一切，一走了之。

臭斗现在变得越来越顽皮，当然说“顽皮”是好听的；说难听的就是“顽劣”。根本不听话，不管你怎么跟他说，讲道理摆事实，实在不行稍稍吓唬吓唬，他都不当回事。你越是要他干什么，他就越不干什么，往往这种情况从他一早起来就开始，然后七折腾八折腾，外加死抓乱抓，吃奶再闹闹，这样搞到中午，做父母的神经绷到极限，然后寄希望于能在他精疲力尽后搞睡他，这样全家可以透口气。一旦这小子不肯睡觉，软硬兼施无效后再要是闹一闹，无外乎就成了最后一根稻草，压垮了斗娘绷到极限的神经，简直让人出离愤怒。大多数情况下斗娘咬牙忍着，偶尔会突然无法控制，一股怨气从心肺间炸裂开来，仿佛水库泄了闸，顺手就打臭斗，而一旦开了手就收不住了，怒从心头起，恶向胆边生，越打越生气，越生气越打，管tmd什么警察不警察了。

今天就是很让人恼火的一天。

早晨六点半，斗爹去纽约州开会，于是家里的烂摊子丢给斗娘跟斗外婆。

五点钟斗娘就爬起来给老二喂奶，喂了拍，拍了喂，整整折腾了一个小时，然后叫斗爹起床。发现老二吃了没多少，奶仍旧涨得厉害。这阵子因为堵奶，搞得斗娘心力憔悴，热敷，滚鸡蛋，上包菜，小孩吸，pump吸，大人吸，揉，按摩，挤，梳子梳，无所不尽其能，终于在昨天露出一点曙光，想到胜利在望，真不愿意在这个早晨功亏一篑，于是赶紧找pump，却发现怎么都不work。斗爹搞好后，斗娘还没来得及接着pump就又得一边抱老二一边盯着臭斗，因为他随时会抓伤自己。好容易等到斗外婆折腾完事情可以替手斗娘一下，斗娘又要赶紧吃早饭，早饭还没吃完，臭斗就蠢蠢欲动，于是又开始帮他抓，折腾几个回合，斗娘狼吞虎咽完，臭斗就坚决地醒了，斗娘明白战斗开始打响了。

于是接下来一大堆的事情，先要安抚醒过来的臭斗，（他每次睡醒都会闹上半个多钟头）然后哄吃奶，好容易搞定这些，还要想办法让他刷牙。然后老二开始折腾，又是嗝又是屁。老二也不是个省油的灯，缠斗娘缠得凶，当然也可能是斗外婆实在是不会带孩子，带了快三个月还分辨不出他是有屁还是有嗝还是饿了，只要老二闹得凶就劝斗娘喂，结果是越喂越遭，越遭越乱，恶性循环。然后好容易搞定老二，斗外婆又成功地把臭斗诱骗出门，斗娘得空赶紧pump奶，却发现这个奶泵还是出了问题，却又不知道问题出在哪里，于是上网google，搜了半天也没搜到一个有用信息，nnd，涨的奶还涨在那里，找不到出路。nnd，最要命的是旧保险已到期，新保险还没接上，想看个医生都不容易

还没消停，臭斗回，又接着搞他。这时还得遵照斗外婆的意思把红烧排骨做上去。斗外婆有点让斗娘特别愤怒，就是不知道审时度势。比如今天这种情况，斗爹早出门家里只有两个劳力，就应该一切从简，把家务事减到最少，可以多些精力搞两个孩子。结果斗外婆早上起来要打豆浆，炒个米粉，还要洗中午的菜。那菜就少折腾点好了，她却非要把晚上的菜也在中午一起做了，于是一个早晨，斗娘指望斗外婆能帮个忙，结果人家没时间。还忘了说，还要烧盘红烧排骨。

斗娘的中午，一手抱着老二拍嗝，整屁，一心希望老二能好好吸几口奶；一边要约束故意搅事的臭斗，然而好话说尽，人家就是不听你的，越是要他怎么样，他越是不怎么样，还嬉皮笑脸。扔的东西随处都是，把床单全部掀起来，瞎折腾空调，乱画ipad，往laptop的接口处乱塞硬币。忘了说一句，今天还碰上个闷热难当的坏天气。斗娘气得火冒三丈，还是忍着，晓之以理，动之以情，发现全是白费。终于把老二交到斗外婆手里，开始哄臭斗吃奶。等到真的哄到他躺下睡觉，念书讲故事时，斗娘已经感觉精疲力尽。一本书讲完，臭斗还要讲下一本，斗娘说不用书斗娘一样讲，臭斗开始闹，斗娘说那唱歌吧，于是开始唱，臭斗开始不停蹬腿，大闹，抓腿，很快腿就抓破了。老二又开始狂哭，许是饿了。斗娘赶紧去喂老二，让斗外婆讲故事，臭斗又不同意，非要斗娘讲，斗娘没理他，开始喂奶，他的无理哭闹又更升一级，然后是哭声又吓着老二，整个房间乱成一团。斗娘那个火，简直快把头都烧焦了，扔下老二抓起臭斗就打，打起来就停不了手，那个恨啊！斗外婆非要来当和事佬，臭斗看着有人救驾，闹得更凶，斗娘更火，叫斗外婆出去，斗外婆又责怪斗娘不该打臭斗，老二被这情景吓得大哭不止，满屋子鸡飞狗跳，人人发疯。斗娘打完，止不住哭，心疼啊！

臭斗终于睡了，斗娘又开始悔恨自己没能很好的控制自己的情绪，心里责怪自己，却找不出解决办法，不知道怎么教育这个孩子，碰到这种横竖不听你的，咋办呢？如果没有老二，斗娘可能还会再耐心点，如今这乱劲，斗娘只能说自己教育失败，因为臭斗的病，斗爹斗娘还是很迁就他，但是自认为基本上也做到该管束的管，不是那么随他性，现在发现做父母的却在孩子面前完全树立不起威信，以致于根本管不了孩子，然后用动粗的手法，问题是动粗也不解决问题，他不听还是不听。哎，做父母真难，多希望孩子能早点懂事啊。

今天倒霉事撞到一起，总结一下：

1。闷热潮湿的糟糕天气。
2。斗爹要出门开会，家里少了能带臭斗的人。
3。斗娘堵奶几周，有发展成乳腺炎的趋势。
4。pump在这个时候失灵。
5。Kyle湿疹加剧，吃奶也出现问题，直接导致斗娘堵奶恶化。
6。臭斗早上爆发浔麻疹。
7。斗外婆弄出一大堆家事要做。
8。臭斗今天尤其不可理喻，完全是不听话，故意挑衅。
9。斗娘嘴巴溃疡，脖子上的淋巴都肿了，一说话就疼。

写这些的时候，两个娃终于都消停了，Kyle在几轮吃跟嗝屎屁排空后放下来了；臭斗被斗娘打过，哭到精疲力尽也睡了，终于耳根清净了，写了上面这些乱七八糟的东西，只是气还没消，还要再继续想调教孩子的方法，还要继续实践，当然希望还是少动点武力，顺带再唉声叹气一句：臭斗，你的病啥时能好啊！

How to Read Your Baby's Mind(zz)

这个貌似很有用，斗娘曾经看过这个录像，收集了很多宝宝的哭声，表情，然后加以解释，但是用到Kyle身上，大家意见就不同了，关键是声音细节不好辨认啊。

Maybe it's the middle of the night when baby's crying up a storm, and you can't figure out what the little guy wants for the life of you. Or maybe he's bouncing along happily in his ExerSaucer when your curiosity strikes: What's going on in that little noggin? According to new research, quite a lot.

Understanding gestures & expressions

Even when babies are first born, they already know a few things about people, language, and their new world, according to Alison Gopnik, professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkley, and author of The Philosophical Baby: What Children's Minds Tell Us About Truth, Love, and the Meaning of Life. "At first glance, babies may not seem to do much,"she says. "They don't talk, which is usually how we find out what someone thinks -- but looking at what they do, where they look, what interests or bores them can tell you a lot." That's why some easily-mistaken expressions and gestures may not be hard to decode after all -- as long as you can spot the signs.

The look: Scrunched-up face, accompanied by grunting noises
What it means: He's probably uncomfortable, especially if he's crying. The likely culprit? Gas. Try rubbing his belly gently to relieve it a bit. (Note: A scrunched face without the crying, plus some widening of the eyes, may just be baby's "poop face." You'll get to know that look pretty well if you haven't already.) Wait a bit for it to pass. If it doesn't, call your doc.

The look: An intense, investigative stare at an object or in one general direction
What it means: Baby gets fascinated pretty easily and is particularly intrigued by things around him. "They track the way objects around them move and are especially interested in edges and contrasts," explains Gopnik. Another point of fascination? Watching an object or person disappear. Swiss developmental psychologist Jean Piaget notably claimed babies don't understand that an object can still exist once it's out of view, but recent studies have thrown this theory out the window. That's why baby will continue to stare after mom has walked out the door: He's looking for her to return.

The look: Furrowed brows and a pouty lip
What it means: He's most likely been overstimulated and on the brink of a meltdown. Place him in a swing for some rhythmic movement to chill him out and back away slowly. He needs some alone time and the comfort of his swing will probably do the trick.

The look: A series of unexplainable crying, yelling, or even object-throwing
What it means: If this behavior is accompanied by some ploys for your attention, then guess what? That's what it is. Baby's bored (hey, it happens) and probably wants some one-on-one time. Entertain him with a fun toy or sing a song he loves.

Decoding cries & sounds

Baby's gestures and expressions aren't the only things newbie moms and dads can look to when trying to figure out what baby wants. According to new theories, baby's cries may offer some big clues too. And while there's been a lot of controversy in recent years over whether or not a systematic "baby language" really does exist, as Australian mom (and creator of The Dunstan Baby Language) Priscilla Dunstan claims, these theories are not being completely ruled out by docs and researchers. If Dunstan's claims are true, baby makes five distinct sounds during that crucial newborn phase:

The sound: "Eh"
What it means: "I have gas" (make that an "Eairh" and that means lower gas)

The sound: "Owh"
What it means: "I'm sleepy"

The sound: "Neh"
What it means: "I'm hungry"

The sound: "Heh"
What it means: "I'm uncomfortable"

Just how legitimate are these claims? According to Gopnik, there isn't any scientific evidence out there to make them entirely official -- yet; but there is definitely evidence to suggest adults can recognize the difference between, for example, cries of hunger and of pain. Dr. Robert Titzer, an infant researcher and creator of the language development series "Your Baby Can Read!" agrees, adding that: "It's better to think of the Dunstan Baby Language system as a set of fairly universal words for babies, instead of thinking of it as a language where words are combined and used with more intention to communicate [as ours is]."

As for baby's (sometimes maddening) cries, they of course differ slightly with every baby -- but there are definitely some similarities all tots share. So the next time you're pulling your hair out trying to decode baby's cry, consult this list:

The cry: Rhythmic and repetitive
What it means: Baby's probably hungry -- especially if he's rooting around for mom's breast or sucking on his fingers.

The cry: A slow build-up of crying over several minutes
What it means: It's time for a nap -- your little guy's tuckered out.

The cry: Periodic soft whimpers
What it means: If this carries on for a while, baby's not feeling so good. It may be time to visit the doc.

The cry: Powerful screams
What it means: If baby's wailing at the top of his lungs for any prolonged period, it's time to consult your doc. It could be a variety of things, but the likely culprit? The dreaded colic.

The cry: Whiny and irritated
What it means: Your tot's fussing is probably because he's been overstimulated and getting stressed.

The sound: "Neh"
What it means: "I'm hungry"

-- Kaitlin Stanford

http://pregnant.thebump.com/new-mom-new-dad/newborn-basics/articles/how-to-read-your-babys-mind.aspx?MsdVisit=1

没有最懒，只有更懒

老人说过了预产期还不出来的男孩子多半是个懒家伙。Kyle就应验了这句话。

先是赖在妈妈肚子里就是不发动，B超一超，人家就在津津有味地吃手，斗娘为了让他早见天日，拖着沉重的肚子爬楼梯，走长途，最后累到吐血，人家还是慢慢吞吞，没办法只好拖到医院催了。

Kyle一懒表现在吃上。吮吸无力，吃着吃着就睡着了，怎么盘都盘不醒，但是最多一次睡二十来分钟就叫起来，原来打了个盹，发现还没吃饱，于是接茬吃，接茬睡，弄得斗娘喂奶喂到快发疯。斗娘想想，才月子里嘛，就原谅他吧。

出了月子，还是破罐子破摔，吸奶就吸到好吸的时候为止，稍微用点力气人家就不吸了，等着换边吃。就这样弄得斗娘堵奶无数次，最近这次比较惨烈，热水敷，热鸡蛋滚，贴包菜，饿上kyle几顿让他吸都不解决问题。斗娘看着涨得越来越硬的乳腺，愁得没办法。最后威逼利诱斗爹下口，老子出马，一个顶俩。在斗爹的协助下终于吸通了大半，最后让饿极了的Kyle在补上几口终于大功告成。后遗症就是，斗娘的奶头愣是让斗爹吸肿了，斗爹却说他的上鄂也肿了，火辣辣得疼。哼，斗娘说，你咋这脆弱，吸几下就肿了，那Kyle不是早肿成猪嘴了？这事发生后，斗娘更有理由相信，在抚养孩子这方面，母亲绝对是最伟大的。想当初，臭斗把斗娘的奶头吸得血淋淋的，斗爹还要斗娘坚持胸喂，真是残忍，让他们老爷们去生生孩子养养孩子就知道有多痛了。

臭斗是57天抬头，Kyle跟他哥哥比起来那个delay啊，斗娘都不好意思说，七十天了还只能抬一点点，没五分钟就抗议了，头不会抬，只会撅屁股蹬腿，最后弄出几个屁，哇啦哇啦乱叫。斗娘叫斗爹赶紧来拍照，斗爹刚准备好相机就嚷上了，“照什么照啊，都抬地翻白眼了。”。斗娘晕。恰好当天mit宝宝版上一强贴，17天抬头宝宝，斗娘觉的宝宝跟宝宝咋差别这么大呢！甭说了，就送一个字给Kyle，“懒”，“懒”还是“懒”！

From Kyle

第二次口腔咀嚼训练辅导

今天臭斗进行了第二次口腔咀嚼训练辅导，在辅导人员的指导下，臭斗非常合作，表现得异常乖巧，简直可以用人见人爱来形容。斗娘心想，你真是人前一个样，人后又一个样，猪鼻子里插葱啊！

臭斗的问题还是很严重的，口里hold住食物不肯吞咽，舌头等周边肌肉很脆弱，需要反复刺激，辅导人员甚至要求斗爹斗娘用一些道具来刺激，比如用牙刷刷这些肌肉，用冰水刺激等等。斗娘就想，你要是能每天来就好了，臭斗哪里是愿意受他娘摆布的，这些方法在你面前他还愿意勉强一试，等你走了，臭斗那是谁怕谁啊。

总而言之，言而总之，臭斗需要找出他能吃的食物来。

kyle第一次笑出声了

第一次笑出声，虽然声音不大，却令全家人着实兴奋了一阵子。然后斗娘叫斗爹来看看，谁知Kyle看见他爹，脸色大变，就像见了生人一样，然后再也笑不出来了。Kyle的笑让斗娘回忆起臭斗小时候，在仅有的不痛苦的当口笑得如此灿烂，看来兄弟俩都是爱笑的主啊。

我一个人好孤独

斗娘开了空调，可是臭斗非要窜到其它房间去睡觉，斗娘说：“那你自己去吧，我跟弟弟，外婆都在这个房间。”。

臭斗扑到床上，很忧伤地说：“我一个人好孤独。”。

斗娘、斗外婆大笑。

以后斗娘每次叫臭斗，但是臭斗不听的时候，斗娘就说：“妈妈一个人在这个房间好孤独。”。臭斗就忙不迭地跑过来了。